©2011 The Anstendig Institute (adapted and abridged)
Although relaxation can be achieved from any position, it is best for learning purposes to begin while lying down. After one has mastered the basic skills, you can practice from any position and in many locations. Some good places to practice are while at traffic lights, waiting on lines, and while doing the dishes; you will, no doubt, think of many other such opportunities. If you practice while sitting down, make sure that your head is properly supported so that it does not roll away from center, creating strain on the neck.
Begin by calmly suggesting to yourself “I am completely relaxed and tranquil" a few times.
The next step is to individually relax each muscle, while thinking “my forehead is relaxed, I am completely relaxed and tranquil, my eyes are relaxed, I am completely relaxed and tranquil”, and so on through the sympathetic order (the word "my" can be left out, if desired). After the forehead is relaxed, the facial muscles can be individually relaxed or, when the technique has been mastered, relaxed all at once or in groups.
The best order for relaxing the muscles of the body begins from the head, starting with the forehead and works down the body in the following order:
forehead
facial muscles (eyes, mouth, etc.)
neck
shoulders
arms
elbows
hands
legs
knees
feet
As the muscles relax, the blood circulation is freed and there is usually a resulting feeling of warmth in key areas of the body, particularly the elbow and knees. There is also a feeling of heaviness in the arms and legs, particularly if relaxing lying down. This feeling can be supported by auto-suggesting "arms lie heavy on the bed", “warmth at the elbows” and "warmth spreads from the elbows and knees through the rest of the body”. The important thing is to be aware of, and not startled by, the effect.
The order in which the muscles are relaxed is most important, not necessarily how you go about relaxing them, as long as the auto-suggestion is done in as calm and peaceful a way as possible. While learning this technique, first locate the desired muscles (each category – eyes, arms, etc. – actually includes a group of muscles) by tensing them slightly and then relaxing the tension. After a little practice, you will be able to simply relax these key muscles almost simultaneously any time, at will.
The breathing mechanism takes care of itself and should not be tampered with or consciously directed. However, it is possible to be aware of your breathing without interfering with it. This is accomplished simply by watching the air coming in and out of the nose. Watching the breath at the nose is important, because paying attention to the muscular movements of the breathing apparatus in the torso leads to the temptation to try to control the breathing by interfering with the action of the muscles. By itself, the simple process of watching the breath usually results in a noticeable, natural calming of the breath and, thereby, of the whole body itself. Any inclination to consciously direct the breathing should be resisted. Simply let it breathe. Just watch it, and nothing more. After a short period of watching the breath, it can be forgotten and full attention paid to relaxing the muscles. With a moderate amount of care and delicacy, the calmness will usually remain.
Posture is a crucial factor in calming the body. If the rib-cage is not up and out of the way of the breathing mechanism (diaphragm, etc.), the breath will be lifting the rib cage with every in-breath. Since the rib-cage is the heaviest part of the body, the distraction of this movement will keep the body from relaxing adequately and result in a great loss of energy. To breathe correctly, only the front of the abdomen, below the rib-cage should move (diaphragm breathing).
If thoughts come into your mind while relaxing, it is best to just reject them, gently let them go. Tell yourself that no thought matters more than becoming relaxed and thereby improving your body and mind.