Protecting Yourself from ANT’s

We all have ‘em – Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANT’s) that pop into our minds whenever a particular subject arises. ANT’s develop for lots of reasons:

• Conditioning from our family or social pressure
• Our experiences
• Our emotional status, especially fear and insecurity
• Genetic predispositions (remember: genetics are not destiny)

ANT’s have been applied to a variety of psychological issues, but for this discussion, let’s consider how ANT’s apply to hoarding and clutter. Below are the most common applicable ANT’s, what they mean, and how to protect yourself from them.

Black-and-white thinking classifies most issues as entirely one way or the other. Language indicators include: either – or sentences, such as something is ‘either this way or that way,’ or all or nothing or ‘one or the other’ statements. This often appears as someone thinking that they will either keep all of a type of item or none, or if one of an item such as an article or sentimental item is wanted, then all of them should be saved. Black-and-white thinking fools us into believing that there is no middle ground or nuance in a situation. Extremes are rarely correct.

Protect yourself from black-and-white thinking by:

• Identifying as many nuances as possible for everyday situations, especially those that have no emotional significance for you. Practicing in neutral situations will help you learn to do it when you feel stressed or emotionally charged.
• Helping others who are doing black-and-white thinking see more possibilities will strengthen your skills in this area.
• Looking for as many sure-to-be-there middle points as you can find anytime you hear yourself saying or thinking either-or or similar polarized statements.
• Asking a friend or relative you trust to help you spot instances of black-and-white thinking in your speech.

Filtering is another common ANT for most people, not just those who hoard or clutter. This may appear as seeing your or someone else’s entire value as a person in terms of a narrow set of characteristics. Other common examples are when someone has two or three unfortunate events in a day, they conclude that the whole day is ruined. Hoarding examples are often more drastic: “I haven’t cleaned this mess so my life is ruined and I am worthless” or “I didn’t clear my house by the end of the month so I might as well give up on recovery.”  People who clutter may think, “I didn’t clear out this morning so I might as well give up for today.”

Protect yourself from filtering by:

• Setting realistic goals. Making goals too high leads to  disappointment and giving up.
• Thinking about your common filtering statements. Practice re-stating them so that you understand the trait or event in broader, more comprehensive and compassionate terms.
• Asking your best friend to describe your trait or the event (assuming your friend is not someone inclined to a negative outlook) and using that description as an example of more positive, nuanced thinking.

Over-generalization, another common ANT, means concluding from one or few incident(s) that some broad conclusion applies. Examples include: “you always say that”(ignoring all the times when the person did not say that; such statements lock people into a behavioral box), “I have no willpower” (you have it but perhaps not as much as you want or need or have trained to support your goals), “I can’t get anything done because I’m just a procrastinator” (this ignores your prompt actions when you felt motivated or confident and puts yourself down). Language clues that a statement is an over-generalization may include words like always, never, none, forever, and other categorical extremes.

Protect yourself from over-generalization by:

• Apologizing to anyone targeted by such statements, for example,  “I know my statement about you was overly broad and I am sorry – it did not benefit you or me. I am trying to stop making such statements.” These apologies may be a bit humiliating, so making yourself do it may ensure speedy learning so that you won’t need to do it again.
• Correcting over-generalizations you catch yourself thinking or saying to be more in line with reality, such as “I may not always make best use of my willpower, but I know it is there and am committed to training it to be stronger.” {Then study how to train your willpower*}
• Evaluate how often your over-generalizations are wrong. Less painful than apologies, these evaluations will still be therapeutic.

Catastrophizing and horribilizing (aka “Ain’t It Awful?” syndrome)
Catastrophizing is imagining that every event is sure to turn out in the worst way possible. Horribilizing is describing every situation as terrible. These short-sighted views are harmful enough when applied to current events and situations but the harm increases when describing the future, ensuring that the future will be worse that it has to be.

Protect yourself from catastrophizing and horribilizing by:

• Looking at how often your predictions about some awful thing you thought would happen did not
• Evaluating how many aspects of a situation you consider terrible you actually could control and what specific actions are needed to ensure that it does not become a catastrophe
• Remembering that horribilizing is always a lie. It is a form of gossiping, rumor-mongering, running people and situations down, perhaps to make oneself look better or to gain power. There is no valid basis for it or any potential decent benefit.
• Training yourself not to horribilize. Studying it in others (NOT correcting them – that’s their business to fix) will help to see it in yourself. Several points: 1) never get angry, upset or even regretful with yourself for slips; just learn from them, 2) practice re-stating that conversation without horribilizing, 3) imagine having another conversation with the person you were talking to the last time you saw yourself horribilizing and avoid falling into that trap again.

Blaming   
It is a rare person who does not engage in blaming at times, but people who hoard often deny that they caused the mess, especially when pressured to clean up. Despite how satisfying blaming may be in the short run, long-term, it kills any possibility of recovery.  

Protect yourself from blaming by:

• Examining your role in situations that you think should change or that others are pressuring you to change. Acknowledge it and work to change it. You can’t improve any situation you blame on others.
• Knowing that others do not make you do things. Unless they were holding a gun to your head, saying that they did is mostly a lie. Lying to yourself always has bad outcomes. Protect your chances for a better life by telling the truth to yourself and others.
• Not confusing holding yourself accountable for truth with beating up on yourself, feeling guilty or ashamed or hiding from anyone. Life requires learning and errors are just part of the process.

Fairness
The idea of fairness causes some people who hoard or clutter to feel sorry for themselves for being deprived of something they feel they should have had and therefore they should get it and keep it now to make up for that deprivation.

Protect yourself from fairness fallacies by:

• Insisting on living in the NOW. Fairness is all about living in the past. The past cannot be changed or fixed by any action in the present – all you can do is make the present worse.
• Abandoning the idea that any compensation for bad events is needed. Life is not fair and hoarding or clutter will not improve anything.
• Putting whatever energy you can into making life better for others who suffer as you did. You cannot change your or their past but you can make the present much better.

Emotional reasoning 
Emotional reasoning is the belief that if one feels something strongly it must be right or that ignoring such a feeling could lead to harm. These beliefs lead to many ANT’s and much harm. Emotions are irrational by their nature, especially negative emotions, and making decisions or choosing actions based on irrational beliefs will not lead to a happy life. This is especially true for hoarding or clutter – these conditions create much unhappiness and pain.

Protect yourself from emotional reasoning by:

• Accepting that your emotions are more likely to mislead you than to provide good information or guidance. Submit all emotionally based impulses to logic, calm review, and evaluation. Realize that you do not have to act on anything your emotions tell you to do.

  Many more ANT’s have been identified and studying them aids better managing life and overcoming whatever issues you struggle with.

You can learn more about ANT’s on these sites:
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_negative_thoughts
- https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/number-one-habit-develop-order-feel-positive/
- https://ahha.org/selfhelp-articles/ant-therapy/  
There are many more sites on this subject.

* see “The Willpower Instinct, How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It” by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. Also, my article, “Making Self-Discipline Possible”  and
“Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” by James Clear
…and many more titles on this subject

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