Sometimes, even when we think that we want and need to change, something inside us just won't allow it. Organizing and clearing things out are often resisted, even though we know we need to do them and yearn for order and neatness. This resistance often defeats hopes and intentions, lowering our self-respect, self-esteem and confidence in the process. Why does this happen? Many factors contribute to resistance:
Resistance is the flip side of acceptance. Acceptance acknowledges that something might change or has changed, but resistance is refusing to accept that reality.
Resistance nearly always leads to worse outcomes than we if tackled what we need to do immediately rather than pretend that a situation, task or change could be avoided. Avoidance often allows solvable problems to become crises.
So, what is the solution? A big part of the puzzle is likely keeping all the reasons you want (not ‘you should’ or someone else thinks it’s important) the change foremost in your mind, along with being clear about all the consequences that you will suffer from not changing. Some good ways to do this include:
___ write down all the reasons why you want to change and all the benefits you expect to get from the change. Post this list where you can see it often. Making daily additions to your list would lead to greater progress.
___ Write in your journal about why you need to change.
___ Set up your surroundings to encourage and support the change that you want to make. Make a list of 20 ways to set things up to encourage change.
___ Enlist friends to help you change. They can remind you, suggest ideas, and offer encouragement.
___ Identify ‘keystone’ habits — changes that will lead to or encourage other good changes. Exercise is often a keystone habit that prompts a beneficial cascade.
___ Identify any roadblocks that may arise so that you will be prepared to deal with them and not have your progress halted if they occur.
___ Make a start, no matter how tiny, on doing what you need to do. Tell yourself you only have to do it for 15 minutes. At the end of that time you can either stop or go on.
___ Keep a progress list and make note of all steps, no matter how tiny, in the direction that you want to go.
___ Rather than getting upset about setbacks, analyze each one to see what lessons can be learned. Don’t berate yourself for slips, just figure out how to prevent them.
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